So I’ve been thinking about the concept of “Owning it” quite a lot as I’ve always found the statement not only empowering but also powerful, even more so since I made a career switch to become a counselor and therapist where my focus is on helping build self-esteem and acknowledging one’s self-worth. I decided to specialize in self-esteem as I find it fascinating how big of a difference it makes in one’s life. Also, the lack of it in today’s society. With that said, I would say that when you can say with confidence that you ”own it” you have come a looong way.
To completely own it, is something I’m still working on as just like everyone else I’ve had and still have my own inner struggles and insecurities. However, I am a strong believer in that real happiness (and I am talking about the kind of rock solid happiness that is not dependent on other people or external factors) can only come from within which is something I’ve learned from pure life experience (is there really any other way?). Cliché as that might sound it doesn’t make it any less true.
So what exactly am I talking about when I say “owning it”? By ‘owning’ I mean speaking up about the pieces/parts of ourselves that make us unique, (and here is where the power lies) without any expectation of praise or pity. It is about owning our stories, the things and accomplishments we take pride in. The realness, however, lies also within taking ownership of our mistakes and events we are less proud of. Yes especially them.
Two favorite quotes of mine about “owning it” comes from the American psychologist and motivational speaker Brene Brown and they go like this;
“When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can write a new brave ending”.
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through the process is the bravest thing we will ever do”
Pretty powerful huh? It is people because when we own our stories and own who we are, we are standing in our truth. It’s about saying how it is and more importantly accept and take pride in our own story, including the mistakes! This is obviously the hard part but once you do that, that’s when you can change and that’s when you can do better, and as the good ol Oprah says “When you know better, you do better”. It’s only at this point when we learn from our mistakes and when we can turn a bad experience into a lesson and just accept it without it having any effect what so ever on the way we value ourselves. And you know what? Often we need to go through a few rough patches in order to get to a better place, that place where we want to be and become who we want to be and to reach our full potential.
“Owning it” doesn’t only refer to our experiences, what we have or haven’t done. It’s also about loving and owning your quirks (I prefer to use the word quirks over flaws). My quirks include being clumsy and loud which anyone who knows me well would testify is true. I spill things and I can’t be quiet even if I try, but hey I love that about me, it’s my quirks and I own it to the fullest. Quirks make you who you are, so you’ve got to love them. If you didn’t have them you’d be empty and boring. Remember people, your quirks are the reason people fall in love with you, befriend you, relate to you so just embrace them.
The same applies to physical appearance. Whether you are tall, short, curvy, slim etc. just own the shit out of it and rock it! While self-improvement is a different thing and I’m all for it if it makes you feel good. However, nothing is as sexy and attractive as someone who is confident in their own skin. It will show in the way you talk, walk and how you carry yourself. Because let’s be honest there is nothing as pointless as comparing or measure ourselves against others because frankly, it’s a safe and straight road to unhappiness. You can only be you and the best version of you is not equal to being ”perfect” but to fully embrace, accept and love yourself because flaws are part of our own perfection.
So to ”own it” is all about taking pride in your story and who you are. When you are ”owning it” you are honoring yourself AND acknowledging your unique tendencies, talents, skills, desires, and yes even your fears, neuroses, and quirkiness. It is about loving what you have done well, your accomplishments AS WELL as your mistakes because it’s part of your story and by doing so you take responsibility for them and that’s the moment when you can do better and be the best version of you (not someone else).
So I am going to end this by telling you why I think this is so important (if I haven’t done that already) – I believe that when you are “owning it”, it makes all the difference in the world in how people perceive you, and how you, in turn, interact with the world. To completely own it takes a lot of work because it takes a healthy self-esteem and self-worth (not confidence people, there is a difference here) and that does not come for free. However, it is definitely work worth doing and a life investment with a high ROI. Acknowledging your self-worth is a work in progress and this is what this whole blog will be about. hope you guys will enjoy it. Any thoughts, comments or feedback I would love to hear. Meanwhile sending you lots of love.